Like a Magpie and a Ring

"Shook. Scared to look at peers when they peer back. It's weird how we fear that. It's weird how we wear masks. It appears that we fear our own tears more than tear gas. My team's struggling in years past. Looking to draft beer to bring cheers back. But then the drinking game's finished. No Guinness, just a clear glass. Seeing our real image mirrored back. The places that we go to cope, it's so strange. When we're older folks it don't change. Trying to hang, we don't know the ropes. When we fall we got more than our shoulders broke. No game. It's why we overdose on cocaine. Get our brains comatose. There's no blame. If you've ever known shame, known pain, known days when I really don't feel okay. Somewhere perfection lies. But not for you and I. Everybody trips sometime. When cities fall like shacks. Walls eventually crack. Everybody breaks a glass."
- LIGHTS feat. Holy F, Everybody Breaks A Glass.
The name of the band is a swear word, so warning if you're gonna go listen to it. But don't let that stop you. It's an amazing song.
I posted only these lyrics, though, because they just make me sad. They're true. Scared to look at peers when they peer back. It's weird how we fear that. It's true. We're constantly scared of what people think of us. When they look at us, what are they thinking? When we're out of sight, are we still in mind? Why do we fear something that small? Is it self centered-ness to make us think that, or insecurities? We fear our own tears. Is it because we want to have hardened shells or because we're scared of being weak? I feel like there's a difference from being hardened and feeling weak. But then again, maybe there's not. I don't think there's really any such thing as being truly hardened on the inside. We're all weak, we all have insecurities, but somehow we think our tears will expose us for who we really are. Tears are small drops, small subtle things, that have that much of an impact on us. Do we fear tears for those reasons because we only want our trusted few to know who we really are? The places that we go to cope, it's so strange. The THINGS that we do to cope is so strange. The places? Noooo. The things. I mean, of course, I understand the places part too. But not just that, the things that we do to cope too. Or even not us personally, but other people that do things and go places to cope with their inner lives. With their personal chaos. And somehow, we're rarely sympathetic with that. Somehow, sometimes, we seem to think we're most important. We have it the worst, our lives. But shouldn't we know, in the back of our minds, that that's really not true at all? And worst of all, no matter our age we always have something going on. No matter how wise we think we are. There's always troubles. It's why we overdose on cocaine. Get our brains comatose. There's no blame. If you've ever known shame, known pain, known days when I really don't feel okay. These lines remind me of the people at my youth group. Their not a normal youth group. There's a teen mom (she's an amazing mom, by the way), multiple druggies, partiers, naughty word girls, and the normal youth group's fair share of confused people, seeking people, and I'm-here-for-the-party people. I used to not really care about who was in the youth group, then I was really frustrated with them because most of the girls are super immature about spreading gossip, and now... I'm seeing something different in them. More of them are offering to pray. There's more silence than there used to be when the lesson's going on. I haven't heard swearing in a while. Little things, but things all the same.
So I'm writing this post because these lyrics had me thinking. Everyone has so many troubles, at youth group you can see them shining through, and maybe this week I can try harder to be nice and love them. They have enough hate as it is. And not even just with them. Maybe that immature know it all girl on facebook I could think less harsh thoughts about. Or that person that hurt me and never apologized, maybe I'll learn to forgive her anyway. Maybe this Wednesday I can try to talk to everyone at youth, even if it's just a little meaningless conversation. Or maybe I can just extend my heart to everyone.